Today, doctor is trying to start Harith off the machine, meaning Harith will breath by himself. Mommy really hope u can do it. Hopefully malam ni when mommy and papa gi tgk, u would still be off the machine. So once breathing dah bagus, its a matter of gaining weight pulak. As for Athirah, maybe soon she’ll be off the machine too. Coz the setting is lower now.
Yesterday, mommy watch movie Cinta. Towards the end of the stroy there was a scene org meninggal. So they angkat the jenazah ke kubur. I felt like crying, in fact air mata dh penuh kat mate, tunggu time for it to flow. Of coz the story line was touching but mommy wasnt sad because of the story line. But the funeral scene reminds me of your sista Alesya. I could still remember how much I wanted to be at the funeral but doctor said one of the parents should be around for both of you. So reluctantly, I told papa that I’ll stay at the hospital while papa brings Alesya home for the funeral.
I also remember sending text msg to my brother, Yeop; your uncle Hisham (which i’m not sure yet what name will you call him). At that moment Yeop told me there was a large crowd at home and jenazah sedang dimandikan. Relatives, friends and neighbbours came to see Alesya. Although I wasn’t around, mommy was glad a large crowd send off baby Alesya for me.
Now that mommy is done with confinement, papa and I are suppose to go visit kubur Alesya to tempah the tombstone. Previously when papa said nak pegi tempah batu nisan I told him to wait for me. I wanted to go along and choose the batu nisan. But now, I don’t think I’m strong enough. I’m sure I’ll cry when I see the graveyard. But no matter how, I’ll try to be strong when I’m there.
My plan is, once Harith and Athirah are big enough to understand. I’ll bring them to the graveyard every now and then. Bukan setakat tuk bersihkn kubur arwah tapi sebagai peringatan kat kami yg masih hidup that satu hari kami akan pulang ke Allah juga. Dgn harapan, with that kesedaran, kami anak beranak akan jadi org yg lebih beriman, Insya-Allah.