Parenting – TRIPLETS plus ONE
Parenthood

Parenting

July 30, 2010

I wish i can be a calm mother who talks to her children in the softest voice.

I wish to give them the total freedom in growing up as a toddler.

But instead,  i ended up screaming, yelling and cubit-ing my kids.

We just got back from a short family trip ( a separate entry of the trip soon), it was suppose to be a family getaway, time to enjoy the moments together but it ended up with some stressful events. I came home and reflect back on the things that happen, and i felt bad. I was expecting too much from my kids. I was countless on how many thousand times i (n husband) scolded the kids, saying “listen hArith! Listen!!” obviously that poor boy wish to roam around freely, exploring the new place but we kept screaming asking him to follow instruction, it restricted his movement a lot. I felt bad each time i (or husband) had to say this “hArith dah big boy kan, listen lah”

Bila piki balik, kesian die. He just turn 3 and we are already expecting hi m to be the big abang, sume mende nk buat kena marah. Ye lah, kids every now and then nak lah kan do new things, but that ended up getting scolded by us. It feel sad bile piki balik, my friends yg anak sorang (of the same age like my elder 2) getting full attention from both parents. Nak buat ape, ade one of the parents akan follow his/her  “adventure in exploring new things”. But we on the other hand, ended up screaming “mommy said must behave kan? Sit down  properly”

Seriously it is sad to have such situation. I feel unfair. Other kids are growing up according to their age, while im expecting my 2 and 3 years old kids to be following every single instruction. That’s a bit too much aight. Other kids getting full attention a ratio of 2 adults: 1 child while we on the other hand trying to divide our love and attention of a ratio 2 adult: 3 children.  And soon we will be having ratio of 2 adult:4 children InsyaAllah. Yes mmg ade je other family with 4 kids, but im talking about having 4 kids under the age of 4 years.  While other 2 and 3 years old are still the one and only “baby” in the house, my kids are force to be big boys / big gal.

Well, as much as i feel bad about it. But i can’t help it. How do i bring all 3 to eat outside without screaming at them to sit down properly when one starts running? And obviously others will follow suit.

Seriously, i want to be a loving mother, a mother whom my children will love and respect. And a gentle mother who treats their children with respects too. I want to be mother who raises them in such a nurturing environment that encourages them to be creative and well rounded lil khalifah of Allah instead of depriving them from exploring their surroundings. I hate it when i have to scream at them, calling them back whenever they were about to start exploring the place. Oh Allah, how do i be a mother who needs not force and scream to them whenever instruction is given, how do i discipline them without the need of force, screaming, yelling and worst of all cubit?

It makes me wanna cry whenever i see my kids crying after kena cubit. I would feel deep inside me “gosh what did i just do??” Im not too sure now does “cubit” really works, sbb macam tak makan saman gak. Im afraid they will ended up having hatred in them towards us.

I really feel bad whenever they need me, but im short of hands (and patients) and ended up ‘leaving them to cry’. I really feel bad that im asking them to grow up and act like big kids while they are only 2 years n 3 years old kids. It really makes me feel bad when i have to leave uZAir crying on the floor when what he wants is to be cuddled and clings to his mom. Thats what a 2 year old boy usually does aight? But im on the other hand will be mumbling away “ish jgn ngada2 lah uZair, mommy tak larat”. athirAh is my lil adventurer who loves to climb. But everytime die climb meja, kusi, almari, cabinet she’ll ended up kena marah. Been wanting to bring her to the putrajaya wall climbing but have yet made a trip there.

I really have to find a new methodology is raising 3 toddlers, a new kind gentle way that no screaming and yelling is needed BUT instruction understood. Is this ever possible? Please share with me! Hmm maybe i have to start bukak balik my phsychology books. But then again most theory tu cam very old skool, don’t think it can be applied to my kids now. Theory and practical is never the same aight.

Every nite, when i watch them asleep, i will pause and reflect; things we did. And i feel regret for not being the mother they deserve. And i think syauQi is also losing his patients with the kids. At times i actually feel relieved that he goes to work for couple of days coz that would be a break for him from the kids and hoping that he comes back feeling rejuvenated to handle the kids.

Maybe i should bring them to the small stream petang ni as hArith has been asking for that the past few weeks. But i didn’t bring him cause nausea hit me pretty bad. Oh btw, my boy pelat “r” die sebut “l” instead. So instead of saying river he says “mommy jom pegi liver” hihi

Well, Sorry kids for spoiling ur holiday

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  1. [New Post] Parenting – via #twitoaster http://blog.tripletsplusone.com/2010/07/

    [Reply]

    mamasofea Reply:

    salam munirah..
    dah lama i jadi silent reader.. admiring your passion, strength.. patience with 3 babies.. tp bile u down camni i feel i hv to say sumthing bcoz all this while u inspired me..(nanti baby i besar i nak buat mcm2 activity like u did with your kids.. insyaallah)..

    there was once i complaint penat jaga baby yg baru sorang.. dunno how other ppl cope with 2,3,4…. one person told me.. a mother gives her all.. no matter how many child she has.. she gives everything she can..so dont feel bad coz u hv given your best… logic and math doesnt work when it comes to love.. no matter how many u have you love them all 100%.. bukannye 100% divide 3…

    and if this can make u feel better.. your kids are lucky to hv mummy around all the time.. in
    my world.. ramai je yg anak sorg tp if u ask them what thier baby can do or what’s ur child fav food, they don’t even know.. why..? bcoz we go to work before sunrise.. and come home
    after sunset only to see our babies asleep… a collegue brenti keje after she noticed her baby only recognize her smell but not her face.. because she only “see her when she’s asleep

    [Reply]

  2. hey munirah,

    dont be too hard on yourself. yes the key is patient but as a normal human being sometimes we just lost it.
    anyway, its a try n error process raising them cz all babies are different in their own unique way.

    i would normally copy back how he does when he wants thing his way. which is the broken record method. hahaha.. but make it firm.marah,yelling,cubit doesnt work for him. it only makes him react the same way when he’s upset.

    then again, uve been doin an excellent job la!! see how good they turned out to be. kekdg je.. thats bcoz they’re normal curios kids which is good in a way. keep the brain active!

    n dont think bout the ratio that u guys need to divide.it doesnt work that way. its the love, things u do/sacrifice for them and quality time spent btwn parents n kids that matters. seriously.

    jgn emo2 ok preggie mommy! heheh *hugs*

    [Reply]

  3. munirah,serius i respect u cos boleh handle 3 kids and soon sorang lagik.insyaallah akn dimudahkan.bila dah jadi mak ni sometimes kesabaran tu mcm dah maximum but kids is always a kids.cubit ke apa ke buat dek jek end up kita lak yang stress.takpe,takpe,bukan u je rasa macam tuh i rasa yang anak sorang pon sometimes feel that way jugak.sabarlah munirah sayang,hehehehe.kita yang jadi mak ni macam nak kena sabar lebih which is kadang-kadang sangatlah susah.u can do dear cuma skang sebab u kan alah mengadung tu yang badan extra penat tuh.sabar k.

    [Reply]

  4. yeah munirah we ALWAYS need another holiday after a holiday with the kids rite? hehehe. x pe lah dear take a break. inhale exhale. i can help bring athirah to PCP one of this days if u don’t mind me adopting her for awhile and let her explore the “mountain” with hQ.

    [Reply]

    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    if only athirAh can be easily kidnap, i will be more than happy to pass her to u. when do u plan to go next?

    [Reply]

    Lana Reply:

    im pretty free next week’s weekdays. nanti plan ngan helmi camne.

    [Reply]

  5. munirah dear..
    i really respect u with 3 kids.. n now preggy lg.. tabik spring! mmg tgh preggy ni our moodswings n hormones are uncontrollable, lagi plak dgn sickness kan.. i find myself doing the same at times, cepat je nak marah Nadhrah..tp terus diam lepas tu sbb i xsuke marah dia she’ll terus merajuk atau tanya kenapa mama marah Nadhrah.. tu baru satu kan, Aqilah still small.. so dia mmg tak kena.

    u r a very strong lady..
    i think u shud not be too hard on yourself.. you’ve done a great job raising them up till now.. its really not easy. both u n ur hubby shud pat urself on the back for the such good job u’ve both done.

    psl method nak mengajar, hehehe, i pun struggling, n learning by day, so xleh nak komen. I think u r more expert.
    mebbe perhaps u need a getaway.. just the two of u.. some time alone could be good at times.

    [Reply]

  6. i guess most of parents would feel the same way when the trip supposed to be relaxing and enjoying moments for the whole family mostly the kids but ends up, we ruined their mood! but as parents, yeah…we tried hard to be patient but at same time,we still cannot stop saying “No”, “Listen…” etc in name of disciplining them?
    i guess, at certain times we have to learn “pejam mata” and let them roam happily.me too,sometimes feeling bad scolding / pushing Aliah in the morning just because we are in rush to works and also when she asks for “dukung” which we sometimes couldn’t / malas to entertain just because we are also tired.

    [Reply]

  7. Hey Hanim…

    I think you are doing a great job with the kids. When I see them, I see confident and inquisitive children who are secure in their place. And that they got from you and Syauqi.

    It’s completely normal and ok to lose it sometimes. We all have our ways of discplining our kids. I tip my hat at your for handling all those little toddlers. Believe me, I dengan sorang ni pun I lose my temper too and sometimes marah just because he’s not doing what I want him to do: like keep quiet for 5 minutes while I try to listen to what’s being said by Oprah on TV 🙁 , I scold him for wanting to be carried all the time, and when he whines for everything. I also feel like maybe I’m pushing him to be a big boy too soon. When I think back I always feel guilty.

    You are tired dear. I most always lose my patience and resort to scolding when I’m tired. I wish I could help you take some time off for yourself. In fact, if you need it. I can take one of the kids. Please don’t hesitate to ask for help.

    There is this book called The Happiest Toddler On The Block by Dr. Harvey Karp. When I remember to use the suggestions I find it works 90% of the time. I don’t follow it 100% but adapt to my own style. I can lend you my copy if you want.

    I’ve read a few books but find this is easy to read out of the other text book like versions.

    Your kids will not hate you dear. Because they know that beneath all that tired mom is a mom who really loves her children. And it shows. *Hugs*

    We’re not perfect. But we try our best. If your kids complain about it when they’re older. Send them to me and I will tell them how much you give give and give.

    [Reply]

  8. Hi Munirah,

    our situation is almost same.. the difference is my eldest is 4,3, and 2.. and im 5 week pregnant too.. frankly im struggling to handle them too.. but Allah helps me this time I think when I dont have any guts and heart to yell at them as I always do.. especially during this pregnancy.. i think it must be .. I told my kids that they are having little baby in my tummy so they have to be more considerate on me.. “ade baby dalam perut mama.. pasal tu mama pening and muntah2 and penat, so mama ckp sekali je kene terus dgr..” but kids is always kids kn.. kdg2 I pon rase over expectation on my kids especially towards the 2 eldest.. speaking of my hubby.. he is always ok on taking care of the kids since they are always and only naughty when mama is around.. and it is always my battle.. for this time.. Alhamdulillah.. hope Allah will continously help me along this journey.. I know u are strong mom.. all the best.

    [Reply]

  9. it’s ok dear. if it helps, even with one kid i still yell and scream at my son to behave himself esp in public. i feel the way u feel too but as a mother i guess it’s inevitable. u just need to discipline them or else nanti buat perangai orang lain plak tolong discipline kan.

    take care. u r a good mtoehr no matter what ppl say and think k.

    http://twinkywinkystars.blogspot.com

    [Reply]

  10. salam munirah, i selalu jugak hilang sabar with my twins,itu baru twins, i have a friend yang ada triplets plus one..bila i rasa my condition is bad i will email her and she will share with me her experience,i rasa my god mine is not too bad..well memang susah..they said children jadi notty bila dia orang bored,so kena buat activity..sometimes i rasa my children memang hyperactive/notty all the times..but we will survive..cuma nak survive dengan cara yang terbaik lah.My twins attending kindy in taman tun now they doing quite okay..when i read your blog i rasa you are doing a great job..so kagum how you boleh handle 3 dengan baik..dont feel bad i pun rotan2 jugak tangan.take care.

    [Reply]

    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    most of my frens still anak sorang so each time i c them tatang anak dgn minyak yg penuh,i feel bad. how i hv to divide my lov n attention with 3 kids n xpect them to behave like big grown ups while other 2 n 3 years are still being treated like a lil precious “baby”

    yup they need activities to keep them occupied, tp bab nk kemas tu penat n while harith can spend time lama with activities tp the other two setakat 5 min je.

    where about u anta ur kids? children house ke?

    n oh btw, happy birthday!!

    [Reply]

    zuraidah Reply:

    so true..yang anak sorang boleh lah tatang mcm minyak yang penuh..kalau more than 5 pulak anak2 dah adjust dengan situatioan and can survive on their own.bab kemas memang sangat penat..tak kemas tak larat tengok rumah,kadang2 i ikut dari belakang nak pick up benda yang dia sepah..but one thing for sure,kita tak boleh kawal mood bila kita penat and stress..kalau kita in good mood rumah macam tongkang karam we okay..i tengah belajar tarik nafas dalam2 ni munirah..not easy..since susah nak tackle from their end..i kena handle from my end..that is why papa jarang marah2 sebab dia tak penat and kurang stress…hopefully we can manage.
    i hantar the girls kat “The Bunny Kids Club” tepi jln Burhanuddin helmy tu..quite good the mix..banyak anak expat,lots of activities..they okay so far..the club open frm 8.30 to 5.30 tapi i hantar till 12.30 only..see lah kalau dah besar lagi nanti they can go for private lesson there such as computer,foreign language etc boleh stay lama sikit.re : thanks for the wish, and take care..i know its hard but you have demonstrated a very good parenting.. i pun kagum tau..you ll be fine.

    [Reply]

    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    yup, bile we r in good mood, umah otngakh pecah pun we can still handle it, bile penat tu yg can easily get stress up with even the smallest thing. im trying to come out with more activities to divide my kids from tantrum and boredom.
    oh the bunny kids tu baru bukak kan. my hse is lorong belakang bunny kids 😉 did u need to stay on with them for the first few days of the enrollment?

    zuraidah Reply:

    oh ye ke,belakang tu rumah you:) alhamdulillah first day terus tak payah tunggu..you know dulu i ada bad experience with kindy,my kids nangis teruk sangat..so trauma jugak lah this time,baca yasin bagi i..then masa first day i asked the teacher how do i go about leaving them,she said “don’t sneak out,you must tell them that you are going for five 5 mins only”,she said kids won’t know the different between one hour or 5 mins,they must feel comfortable then time will fly fast,in no time we will be back there.So first day i stayed until 10.00 then i told them that i am going away for 5 mins,if they like it there they can stay,it worked,suka sangat i.Now dia orang pun pandai cakap “mama going for 5 mins only”.The CLub owned by Korean,dah sebulan ni i really happy,cuma today ada budak baru masuk,a boy problem child,quite aggressive,baling barang sana sini,i risau jugak but the teacher quite confident she said after 7 days he will change,memang tak senang nak cari kindy yang perfect kena lah give and take,kat club ni banyak activity,the teacher pun good but siapa nak masuk kita tak boleh control,hopefully the teacher can handle the situation well and it will not disrupt the class.Now they dah ada kawan,banyak girls,ada 3 anak dara mat salleh yg really baik dekat dia org,balik rumah pun asyik cerita:) re: mmang kena buat activity banyak lah kat dia orang,interest memang bertahan setakat 5 – 15 mins jer,kalau 1/2 hour tu bonus,my outdoor activities mostly painting,since they suka bazir painting,i bought the small2 tube from Tesco,RM1.20 for 10 tubes and the big paper roll from ikea,hampar kat rumput and they paint,i carved potato,carrot buat chop,main bubble,gardening beli seeds tanam dalam container,sekarang dah pandai nak participate masak,sibuk nak pound,i pun bagi lesung batu dua,tumbuk kacang panjang sampai lumat,sibuk nak bersih tingkap macam maid,bagi lah jugak kain lap segala benda.nak puasa ni i dah start plan area belakang yang dia orang boleh main2 supaya i boleh masak and nampak dia orang,my maid nak balik cuti raya ni.InsyALLAH we will be fine:)

    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    yup blakang the skool is jalan umah i, but my hse bkn lah exactly behind the skool. have to go further in my lorong rumah then baru jumpe hse behind their skool.
    tu lah mmg kena buat byk activity and as u said attentionspan is 5 – 15 mins je. but prob is i baru nk start buat painting, the 2 boys baru nk settle down athirAh dh loose interest. n i have to chase her before she start pegang wall, kerusi and such with all the paints on her hand. while chasing after athirAh, u can imagine wats happening outside with the 2 boys, fuhh…ade case yg they ended up painting each other, haha.
    yup the big roller paper from ikea is very essential. i make sure we never run out of those paper. hihi

    hArith mmg dr kecik suke participate bile masak. mmg die tak heran if kasi pots n pans toys although it is not plastic, i bought him toys yg stainless steel. tak lkau. yg kt dapur gak die nak. if leave him alone, suddenly and bunyi pung pang pung pang dlm dapur, he dah amqi lesung batu, and took bawang from the fridge and tumbuk. ade case die dh amiq sayur main masak2 with the real pots and pans, senduk and all.

  11. Have you heard of the word PLANNING? Allah gives mind to think kan…

    [Reply]

    Alia Reply:

    Oh wow kt! Thats true. But I believe all this has been planned for Munirah too by Allah swt. Yes, Allah gives mind to think. So, think!

    Btw, munirah – ur doing an awesome superb job as a mommy .. I am so proud of u.. and I shall make sure that ur kids know it when they are all grown up.. hugs*

    [Reply]

    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    Thanks Alia, looks like someone have to do some thinking herself aight 😉

    [Reply]

    Sarah B. Reply:

    I wholly agree with Alia.

    Everything is planned by Allah SWT. Everything. While man may think he has control, or the ability to plan – it is ultimately Allah’s decision what He decides for you. Sometimes your planning works, sometimes it doesn’t, sometimes you don’t plan at all but never ever doubt that Allah has a plan for each one of us.

    kt, your statement made me sad. Because there are kinder ways if you geniunely care to give Munirah ‘planning’ advice.

    I believe children are a blessing from God. And Munirah has been blessed with many. Allah has allocated His blessings for her. And Mashallah… one who is already in Jannah.

    “Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world.” (al-Kahf 46)

    Hanim, I don’t know if you realize it – but so many mothers out there look up to you. I for one – always think of you when I’m feeling like a failure. It’s not fair to compare how much your kids are getting in terms of attention by other parents with less children, because Allah is fair. And he will provide what you can’t… because you are trying your best – Not only me, but other mothers can see that too.

    [Reply]

    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    thanks for the words of encouragement dear. Yes Alhamdulillah i do feel blessed with the children Allah gives me. im not complaining, im just expressing my concern on how do i divide my love and attention to all 3 (and soon 4). looks like someone misunderstood

    [Reply]

    hana Reply:

    wut’s ur problem kt?

    u bitter coz u dont haf kids or sumthing?

    advise u shud take instead: IF U HAF NOTHING GOOD TO SAY BETTER JUST TO SHUT UP.

    [Reply]

    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    yup hana, i wonder wats her problem

    [Reply]

  12. hi munirah…
    don’t feel bad…i feel you my two sons are the same age as your kids…huhu..susah sgt nak be patient with them at all time..i yg ada dua je ni pun selalu marah2, cubit2..huhu..like you at the end of the day i feel down and regret all of it…my eldest bila kena marah or cubit he will run and hide in a corner or under the table or behind the sofa and cry slowly sambil cakap sorg2..nape mama marah2…huhu sedih kan…i always minta maaf after i scold him…tp selalunya i suruh dia minta maaf dulu then explain lepas tu baru i pula yg minta maaf..i pray hard when my child grows up they will never complaint about kurang perhatian..
    my hubby always say if kita ikhlas dan kita berjaya mendidik mereka menjadi khalifah mereka tak akan terfikir pun soal perhatian ni…

    Insya Allah munirah our kids willl be a good khalifah…pray hard and pray only for the best ye…

    munirah i tabik spring dkt you on how you handle and nurture ur kids tau… so jgn sedih2 ye

    p.s munirah kalau i nak kekalkan rekod anak2 kita sebaya ..sempat lagi ni i nak kejar..u bersalin next year kan..hehe… joking je…i masih rasa penat lagi…maybe yg ni yours will be a senior to my no 3…*wink*

    [Reply]

    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    so far anak i takde lagi case lari merajuk, usually right after die kena marah, i talk to him why i cubit or marah him. so mmg tak sempat die nk lari merajuk. n yes i get them to say sorry to me too b4 i say sorry to them 😉
    haah my due date end jan…sempat lagi ni nk join i =D

    [Reply]

  13. hi dear
    I would like to believe this is the hormones talking..don’t be too hard on yourself dear There is a reason for everything that God has planned for us.

    And on your note that you need to divide you attention 25% to each kid..I beg to differ. It’s not dividing the love, it’s multiplying the love and devotion to each kid. Allah won’t give if he thinks you can’t handle it.

    “bersusah susah dahulu, bersenang senang kemudian”…your “kemudian” will so much more than you’ll ever know.

    *hugss*

    [Reply]

    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    oh dear, i really gonna hold on to these words of yours to keep me going whenever i feel that im not giving them enuff attention: “And on your note that you need to divide you attention 25% to each kid..I beg to differ. It’s not dividing the love, it’s multiplying the love and devotion to each kid. Allah won’t give if he thinks you can’t handle it.”

    yes insyaAllah, susah2 dahulu, nanti by the time anak2 dh masuk uni, my husband n i will still be fit to be travelling around the world, just the 2 of us 😉

    [Reply]

  14. PLANNING? Planning what? Planning your daily activities? Probabbly possible… Planning birth of kids? Hmmm… Allah has full say on that… Remember La haula wala quwwata illa billah… and als remember… what Allah says in the Quraan… You plan, and Allah plans, and Allah is a better planner. Try your best and then leave it to Allah.

    [Reply]

    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    well yeah, at first i was trying to be uncynical, giving the benfit of doubt that mayb KT meant as daily activities planning. but somehow looks like all other commentors understood it well as family planning. and YES Allah is a better planner and im trying my best, insyaAllah

    [Reply]

  15. just so you know kak munirah, i have always wanted to be just like you when i have my own kids.

    [Reply]

    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    oh dear, terharu to read this. but dont be like me, but be even better than me dear 😉

    [Reply]

  16. munirah,i feel u,totally…
    which in my case,my elder two still having difficulties in adapting with the new baby,which is already 3mth old…u know la,baby need ur fullest attention…so,kinda struggling to give each of my kiddos the same amount of attention they used to get…yes,it is stressful,esp when they tend to throw tantrums whenever im w d baby…
    i was like,if only i can divide myself so that everybody can have a piece of me n stay happy without any drama,i.e. crying,yelling,’babab bontot’ involved…but,im only human can,cant avoid that…
    eventho i didnt know u well,but fr reading ur blogs,i can tell that its the pregnancy that drove u mad,losing ur temper or behave like u did,no worries,its normal …

    [Reply]

    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    i tak tau lah nanti with the 4th one camane sbb uZair mmg cannot bila i pegang org lain. hoping for miracle to happen, that he turns out perfectly okay with the new sibling =)

    [Reply]

    mameelima Reply:

    dnt wori dear, chrn knows hw to adapt. tau lah dia nanti bila adek dah tiba. org dulu2 cn manage, so cn we, insyaALLAH. DIA yg Memberi, lebeh Mengetahui keupayaan kita 🙂

    [Reply]

    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    praying that my kids adapt well with the new situation later, insyaAllah

  17. Dear……1st nak cakap…what u feel now is becoz ur pregnancy hormone plus with ur sickness tuh..it happened to me before this n till now.. with the tired body so apa2 yg kids buat tuh mmg menguji kesabaran kita….i also do yelling, ‘cubit’.’rotan’ n ‘hanger’ to my kids.

    even my kids now is 4 & 3 years…even we think dioarg dah faham bahasa sometimes mmg rasa dioarg nih saja mencabar kesabaran kita…..even i pernah nangis when kids saja nangis to get my attention.

    it not easy in parenting but its the learning process….take a deep breath n think positive. GO GO GO Munirah…..THINK we already done the best with our kids…..We’re the BEST Mother in the World!

    [Reply]

    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    yup, could be bcoz of the hormone or simply because im tired. its physically challenging to handle them 24/7.
    tu lah kadang tu we expect them to understand all our instruction and we get frustrated when they dont. walhal diorang mmg still kids kan. and yes i do cry silently at times when i feel like i failed in raising them well.

    [Reply]

  18. munirah,
    i am not going to tell you ‘don’t feel bad about it’ because you know what? the fact that you feel bad about it mean that you care. and you want the best for your children. having said that, know that it is only human to lose our patience once in a while. i’ll be the first to admit that i’m always losing patience with my kids. but the important thing is what we do about it after…

    i’m still trying to figure out what to do as well…it can feel so hopeless sometimes..right now what i try to do is make sure that i apologise to them, and make the effort to be gentler next time..(as a result, adam has learned to apologise too, everytime he makes a mistake. at least that’s one good thing that comes out of it)

    [Reply]

    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    yup, each time i scold them, i rationalize things with them. explain what had happen and the consequences of it. after that i’ll get him/her to say sorry (n vice versa) and we will give each other a hug. in the case the father marah/cubit pun they will come running crying to me, i’ll ask what happen? after they tell their story, i xplain things why pApa marah. and soon after he himself will be running to his dad and give a hug to pApa.

    but as u said, there are will alot things we gonna have to figure out aight..i do feel hopeless to at times

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  19. i pun hilang sabar sometimes bila my son buat perangai walaupun baru sorang… tiga orang… i think u’ve done great already.

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  20. only those yang face the challenge will know how challenging it is to raise 3 kids below 4. am in that shoe, and tell you what, it is never been easy. but i believe u enjoy it, as much as i do. 😀 sabar tuh memang selalu off from it’s suice. lepas tuh, attention wise also agak susah. but i normally curik2 time with one kid by taking them out if the other is asleep. hugs do wonders to them, when i want to make them to listen to me better.

    ps – cumanya i masih tak confident to take the kids out without extra hand. hehe. kalau sorang lari kanan, sorang lari kiri, i tatau mana nak tangkap dulu. 😉

    -mommy of twins + 4 months old baby boy-

    [Reply]

    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    yes, im sure every parents have their challenges regardless anak sorang or more. different kids with diff character will giv us diff challenges. it is never the same. i penah ade org say this “ish anak 3 ade maid pun takleh handle” just bcoz die ade anak 4 (more than mine) but little did she consider the age of our kids. anak die yg besar dh sek rendah, she no longer need to basuh berak, tgk time mandi and all. how can she compare my situation and hers regardless anak die 4, more than mine. i was definitely set back with her words, tp org mcm tu mmg no point to argue.

    how old are ur twins btw? so far i ade gak bawak all 3 out alone. sbb husband slalu takde. so if tunggu husband balik, dungu gak anak i dok umah je. i dont bring my maid along coz i believe she need some time without the kids too. sedangkn kite punye anak sendiri pun kite bleh hilang sabar, ni kan lagi die. bukan anak die…sure lah lagi cepat die hilang sabar. so there are times i bring the kids out alone. usually athirAh and uZAir will be on the twin stroller and hArith will walk n help me push the stroller. so since 2 on the stroller, takde lah kejadian sorang lari kiri n sorang lari kanan…hihi

    mase uzair baby, and the elder 2 still too young to get one of them to walk, i carry uzair gune baby bjorn carrier and lagi 2 on the stroller.

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  21. salam kenal,

    semoga terus kuat dan tabah. ramai yg mendoakanmu 🙂

    p/s: bila baca entry ni teringat Lynette Scavo on Desperate Housewives..hehe..

    [Reply]

    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    thanks dear, and yes kadang2 mmg i rase kabut mcm lynette je

    [Reply]

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