Guideline / Manual in Raising your Kids – TRIPLETS plus ONE
Parenthood

Guideline / Manual in Raising your Kids

August 23, 2010

Couple of weeks back, i received a msg from my friend;

” Hanim…i nk ngadu ni…huhu ;-( i’m mentally n physically drained ni…Penat jaga my son, pastu newborn lak mengada manja je…I terpikir camane u boleh jaga ur childrens masa they sakit yek? Mesti susah”

Upon reading her sms, i could feel her. Her son is 3 years and a newborn 2 months plus tak silap. I immediately press on the reply button to reply her msg, but as i was about to type my sms, i suddenly realised i didn’t have an answer to it. Seriously, i didn’t.  I didnt know how to answer to the question “how do u handle your kids”. There isn’t any manual, guideline or Standard operating procedure for it. We handle a minute at a time, one mess at a time. Takyah lah jenuh nk piki siang nanti camane yer, just think of the very next minute cukup, yes a minute at a time.

When people asked me how do i put all 3 to sleep, again i have no answer to it. Every nite is different, I tackle one child at a time. Depending who looks more sleepy than the other. After one sleep, will go to next child, again depending who looks sleepy. So every nite will be a different pattern. And for bedtime, mmg org lain tak laku except for me. There’s no way they will sleep if someone else were to put them to bed. So i’ll be surrounded by all 3 on the bed. But honestly, with the newborn later i really have no idea, clueless how to put all 4 to sleep…hmm…

Last week, we had syauQi home the entire week, the kids bedtime when haywire. Now that syauQi is away for a week, im having a hard time putting them to bed. i really dont know where my kids get their energy. The other night, the 2 boys slept almost 1am, woke up 9-ish and no nap during the day time but yet i had problem puting them to sleep the following nite. Uzair ended up sleeping slightly pass midnite, (after a great battle with him! – lights were off but he was still jumping up and down to the music thats already in his heart; The Wiggles of coz). Gosh, where do they get their energy. Even if they were to take their nap, it will be just 30 mins and that would keep them wide awake at night.

Anyway, back to the sms above, i told syauQi and asked him “hmm camane nk jawab you, how do we do it?” Ended up syauQi pun dont know wat to answer, so he suggested to reply to the sms with words of encouragement, asking her to hang in there. Well, look on the bright side, nanti anak dh besar, we can have our Me Time all to ourselves. (provided i really stop at 4 kids lah kn, hihihi)

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  1. haah la kan.. my kids pun, nap kejap je, then bile malam, susah sgt nk tido, kul 12 baru nk tido… sian kat hubby la kan sbb dia nk kerja keesokan harinya… tp i da jumpe 1 cara nk bg diorg tido kul 10, lepas diorg bgn dr nap tu, i bwk diorg main basikal smpai kul 7, kalo x main basikal, main lari2 kat taman pun ok… balik je, mandi, makan n zzzz…. hehe…

    actually mmg x de specific guideline utk handle our kids.. it depends on situation, the kids, our emotions n everything.. yg penting, internal n mental kite kene kuat.. bak kata org tua2, biasalah, time anak2 kecik mmg mcm tu, da besar skit lain pulak, bile masing2 da kawin, br la sunyi rumah.. huhu…

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  2. the joy of parenthood. setiap phase ada ujiannya yg mencabar. pple ask hw u cope with 5, i say we’l just know we hv to cope, when we hv to face it. susah senang rencah kehidupan 🙂
    challenges are valuable experiences. when we feel down, get a gd fren to perk u up 🙂

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    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    yup we just hv to cope when we hv to face it kan 😉

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  3. i think the challenges of raising a teenager are tougher. the young ones will make us smile n laugh most times..

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    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    no doubt about that, i tgk youngster smoking away pun i dh risau n asked my husband, how do we ensure our kids x smoke? then again we r taking a minute at a time, so bab reenagers to later pikir…hihi (but of coz we do give a thought about al this)

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  4. love ur entry.
    yea.. i oso believe in that.. there’s no real mastering with the kids, sbb different kids different characters kan..

    so bile org tanya nasihat i pun, i pun boleh kata bersabarlah hang in there..
    n yeaa.. baca comments from mameelima, i pun takut pikir kan teenage years diorg, omg.. dgn mcm2 kat berita skrg.. serious takutt..!

    talking to other mommies or frens to let it out is good. sharing n having frens to perk us up is just important.

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  5. The horrors no woman talks about. Why don’t woman talk about this? They always say, “Oh, no,no… It’s fine,there’s no problem…” Have you ever tried to (poop) with a screaming baby & the phone won’t stop ringing, some one’s at the door… U just want to cry & scream GO AWAY!!!

    Every mother recognises this scenario but why is it that no one ever talks about that trying moments of motherhood? It is because they’re afraid of being labelled a bad mother? Isn’t it natural to be overwhelmed once in a while? Isn’t it perfectly acceptable to crave an uninterrupted nights sleep or the ability to shut the bathroom door for more than 30 seconds? Why do woman insist of putting up a front & pretending that motherhood is a breeze?

    and hanim, i can imagine how hard u nak put all your childrens to sleep,nanti beranak baru kena sambung balik breastfeeding routines kan? I feel that I’ve won the lottery when my kids wake up only twice a night! I have not had uninterrupted sleeps for more than 2 years. I’m trying to figure out where I want to go & what I want to do. Being a mom, I can’t do what I used to do. But I do have great network of family & friends…

    thank you for your words of encouragement!

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    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    Well anne, i really didnt have much words of encouragement to help u get back on track, it makes me ponder for awhile when asked how do i cope, and suddenly i realised i didnt have answer to it.

    Yes, u r right about this parenthood thingy, horrors no woman talks about as afraid being labelled as bad mother, or failure. I totally understand your situation when u said “Have you ever tried to (poop) with a screaming baby & the phone won’t stop ringing, some one’s at the door… U just want to cry & scream GO AWAY!!!” it happen to me a number of times that i feel the urge to poop but situation doesnt permit me to do so, i tahan and when i then have the time to go to the toilet, the urge to poop is no longer there, dok tahan lama sgt smpai tak jadi nk berak.

    if u notice, i made an entry about how at times i feel guilty for lack of attention i give to my 3 toddlers but to my surprise a reader commented : Have you heard of the word PLANNING? Allah gives mind to think kan…
    i was speechless and jaws wide open upon reading the statement. this was the entry: http://blog.tripletsplusone.com/2010/07/parenting/

    i then wrote another entry in reply to that comment in this entry: http://blog.tripletsplusone.com/2010/08/children-are-rezeki-from-allah/

    i guess this is exactly wat u meant that hardly ppl talks about their trying moments of motherhood coz there will be such comments that would make us feel even more miserable instead of perk things up. sad isnt it?

    not only uninterrupted nights, anne…im lucky if i ever have an uninterrupted meal, where i can actually sit down and chew my food. After 3 years of interrupted sleep, looks like it will be back to square one soon. back to night feeding, hope it wont be as frequent as uZAir, where i had to wake up average 7 times a nite!

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  6. hehehe.. ye, memang susah soalan tu nak jawab.. saya anak sorang pun rasa penat tak terperi.. huhu 🙁 oh ya, all the best in your pregnancy.. hopefully everything is ok 🙂 weight gain x dak, doc tak marah ke..? kalau check up di klinik kerajaan, habis la… last time saya pergi, terlebih gain weight pulak, pun kena marah juga 🙂 ahahaha…

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  7. just to make evryone feel better..for every -ve comments there’ll surely be doubly, triply more +ve ones. u saw hw so many responded n squashed dat -ve comment 🙂

    to stay sane, always look at the bright side, look at the wonderful gifst we hv in these children and we’ll feel so blessed n thankful dat it’ll sweep away the ‘blues’ 🙂

    i think most mums do talk abt the trying moments with their gd frens to look for solace, some tips and comfort knowing dat u r nt alone and hence u r surely nt a bad mum. at the very least, u’ll feel better getting out of ur chest. all these ‘horrors’ will soon pass n become a treasured memory 🙂

    with so much demands, prioritizing is the key. if u nd the loo break, put ur child in his cot/playpen n tawakkal dat he’l be fine despite the wailings 🙂 the phone n d door cn wait, if it’s urgent they’ll gv another ring later 🙂

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    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    i couldnt agree with you more dear, it was nice to be getting supports from friends and readers after reading the -ve comment.

    being a stay-at-home mom im kind of having deprived social life…hahaha. hardly get to meet up with friends for a cup of tea or such, thus frens whom i made on this blog of mine really do cheer things up for me.

    about putting them in the cot, i no longer have cot…kids can kuar from the cot so we decided to remove it b4 accident tertonggeng jatuh kuar from cot happen. and yes, whenver badly need to do some urgent things, i’ll just have to tawakal.

    thanks again for ur words of encouragement, highly appreciate it

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  8. mun, u have no idea what an inspiration and point of encouragement you are to A LOT OF MOMMIES ok!!

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    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    thanks liyana 😉

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  9. salute you.
    my baby skang dah nak masuk 2 years & this “coming” one in tummy makes me pk how i can divide my time, love, working lagi, umah lagi, hubby lagi…sgt tak tau! tapi i really hope & pray that i can do it! perhaps will buzz you more for tips etc dear!

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    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    i guess when the time come, we will figure out how to handle the situation. nanti newborn ni mmg im clueless how it will be. camane baby nk nap siang i pun tak tau, the other 3 jenis kuar masuk bilik telompat2 atas katil and all. making lotsa prayers that he/she will be an easy baby, riuh camane pun baby can still sleep. insyaAllah

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