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Sebagai peringatan

By on August 1, 2007

Today, doctor is trying to start Harith off the machine, meaning Harith will breath by himself. Mommy really hope u can do it. Hopefully malam ni when mommy and papa gi tgk, u would still be off the machine. So once breathing dah bagus, its a matter of gaining weight pulak. As for Athirah, maybe soon she’ll be off the machine too. Coz the setting is lower now.

Yesterday, mommy watch movie Cinta. Towards the end of the stroy there was a scene org meninggal. So they angkat the jenazah ke kubur. I felt like crying, in fact air mata dh penuh kat mate, tunggu time for it to flow. Of coz the story line was touching but mommy wasnt sad because of the story line. But the funeral scene reminds me of your sista Alesya. I could still remember how much I wanted to be at the funeral but doctor said one of the parents should be around for both of you. So reluctantly, I told papa that I’ll stay at the hospital while papa brings Alesya home for the funeral.

I also remember sending text msg to my brother, Yeop; your uncle Hisham (which i’m not sure yet what name will you call him). At that moment Yeop told me there was a large crowd at home and jenazah sedang dimandikan. Relatives, friends and neighbbours came to see Alesya. Although I wasn’t around, mommy was glad a large crowd send off baby Alesya for me.

Now that mommy is done with confinement, papa and I are suppose to go visit kubur Alesya to tempah the tombstone. Previously when papa said nak pegi tempah batu nisan I told him to wait for me. I wanted to go along and choose the batu nisan. But now, I don’t think I’m strong enough. I’m sure I’ll cry when I see the graveyard. But no matter how, I’ll try to be strong when I’m there.

My plan is, once Harith and Athirah are big enough to understand. I’ll bring them to the graveyard every now and then. Bukan setakat tuk bersihkn kubur arwah tapi sebagai peringatan kat kami yg masih hidup that satu hari kami akan pulang ke Allah juga. Dgn harapan, with that kesedaran, kami anak beranak akan jadi org yg lebih beriman, Insya-Allah.

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Diapers time

By on July 29, 2007

Wanted to update this earlier but had problem wiz internet connection. Mommy wants to share these great historical dates wiz both of you! The nurse gave mommy the opportunity to change your diapers. At first I was scared I might cause any disturbance to your tubing and wiring but the nurse assured me that it will be okay. I change Harith’s diapers first, it was on the 25th July. When mommy bukak ur pampers u only pee. There wasn’t any poo-poo. But the minute I bend down to take ur new pampers I heard u fart. So I said…wahhh u gave mommy a suprise. When I look at you, it wasn’t just a fart but u were making big business. Hmm, great present you had there for mommy!

Athirah pulak, the nurse offered to change your diaper few days later, on 28th July. Before opening your pampers I asked you, “So do you have the same suprise like what Harith gave me?” As I opened ur pampers, there wasn’t any big business but ngam ngam mommy nk place the new pampers, you wee-wee. Cepat2 I had to put back ur old pampers. Quite cheecky ah both of you. Then the nurse said, you must be happy having mommy to change ur diaper coz ur breathing was 100%.

Perhaps, pasni we get papa to do it =)

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Dear Harith n Athirah

By on July 25, 2007

Dear Harith n Athirah,

Perhaps by now you already have the idea that you actually have another sister. I’m sure both of you are curious what happen. Since you are now big enough to read….here’s what happen:

Mommy gave birth to all three of you at only 26 weeks of pregnancy as opposed to the usual 38 – 40 weeks. Maybe it was too cramped for all 3 of u to be in mommy’s womb so the 3 of you made majlis syura’ and decided it’s time to come out. Well, mommy felt the pain overnite but thought it wasn’t anything major. And since papa was in Melbourne, mommy told pah bout the pain. It wasn’t that bad, Mommy manage to tolerate the pain until subuh, then I told pah perhaps we should get a check at the hospital since the pain didn’t go off.

Doctor checked mommy and said that i’m in labour. All 3 of you were ready to pop out. Mommy was a bit sad coz papa wasn’t around to witness the moment. Al-hamdulillah, there wasn’t any complication during labour. Mommy gave natural birth to all 3 of you. However, I had few doctors who came to me asking me to be strong for all 3 of you because you were premature.

Harith pop out at 9:05am, Alesya at 9:11am and Athirah at 9:17am, and u all weigh at 760gm, 600gm and 546gm respectively. And your length were, 33cm, 32.5cm and 31cm. I knew something amiss when pah said it’s not necessary for me to see u all at the Special Care Nursery I should take a rest first. Pah said, doctors are handling all of you. That nite, doctor called me down to see the 3 of you. Oh dear, u were all so tiny. I wasn’t even sure what should I do, should I touch you or should I just look at you. Doctors told me all 3 have 50% of survival but Alesya was more critical. Papa arrived shortly after that. He tried to comfort me, but later I saw he was also in tears. Both of us were afraid.

However on the 11th June, at 5:30am doctor called papa saying Alesya is in critical stage. Mommy was still in the hospital so i rushed down. Alesya was looking very pale. Papa and mommy stayed by her sight until 11:30am and went back to my room cause we were expecting visitors. But 20mins later doctor called us down again…it was time for us to say goodbye to Alesya. At 1:17pm Alesya gave her last breath and left us. It was during the azan Zuhur.

I’m not sure if both of you could feel the lost of your lil’ sister but that night papa and mommy had a touching moment with both of you. When mommy touched Harith’s head, we saw tears from your eyes. Then papa went over to Athirah and touched your head. The minute papa touched Athirah, you were also in tears. I guess both of you could feel the lost of you sister. Because of that, mommy make a promise to myself to be strong for the 2 of you, to comfort and ensure you things will be alright, insya-Allah.

You might be wondering what causes Alesya’s death. Alesya was too small. Most of her body system has not fully matured yet. Her lung especially and also her blood vessel. She had bleeding in her brain. The day she left us, doctor detected bleeding in her lung and stomach. Looking at her pale body mommy was really sad fearing that she was in pain. Mommy knew I had to let her go. I guess her name reflects her destiny; Alesya which means protected by God. Allah decided to take her back to be with Him.At least mommy knows she need not suffer any longer to fight for her life. She’s papa’s little girl. She has long limbs, legs and fingers, sharp nose and even the shape of her face. She had my eyes though.

So Harith and Athirah, you should be grateful that Allah is giving you the opportunity to live. So don’t be nottie yah!

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It's official…

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I was undecided in which blog do i write, shall I make a post in my frenster blog or here. Finally after reading alom’s @ lyna’s blog I’ve decided to follow here idea, which is to make a separate blog for my darlings. (lyna, hope u dont mind, me kidnap ur idea) Initially, I made this blog to share my pregnancy journey with other similar triplets mother. However, the journey only end at 26 weeks…

So, since this is officially my lil’ darlings blog…i shall start writting about them n for them. As a start, I should perhaps cut and paste the relevant post in my other blog so Harith and Athirah can read what happen to them (and their younger sista ) when they are big enuff.

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Ahmad Harith, Alesya Zara & Athirah Zahraa

By on June 14, 2007

“I guess her name reflects her destiny; Alesya which means protected by God. Allah decided to take her back to be with Him.At least I know she need not suffer to fight for her life. She’s daddy’s little girl. She has long limbs, legs and fingers, sharp nose and even the shape of her face. She had my eyes though”

The Few Most Popular Questions:

Q1: You have triplets???
A1: Yes, I was blessed with triplets on the 9th of June; 1 boy and 2 gals: Ahmad Harith, Alesya Zara and Athirah Zahraa.
However on the 11th June Alesya Zara returned to Allah during the call of Zuhur prayer.

Q2: Did you know right from the beginning you are expecting triplets?
A2: Yes I did

Q3: Do you have family history of twins/triplets?
A3: Yes, my mom has twin brother. My grandpa has twin sisters, and few other sets of twin cousins and a set of triplets

Q4: Did you have a C-section?
A4: Nope, I didn’t. I delivered all three the natural way.

Q5: How come you gave birth so early?
A5: Unfortunately I didn’t know what I felt over the night was actually a contraction. I thought it was just one of those aching I usually feel through out my pregnancy. Since it was in the middle of the night, I thought it was unnecessary to rush to the hospital, fearing it was nothing major, the nurse might just laugh it off. Somehow as morning approaches I told my mom (hubby not around) I think I need to see the doctor. Guess what? When I reached there, doctor said, mine was 9cm opened (the maximum is 10cm) and my membrane was bulging. They tried to prevent me from giving birth but the medication and oxygen given to me didn’t help much. At almost 9am, they decided I had to give birth.

My babies are very very small, well that’s something we would expect I guess since they were only 26 weeks. Each of them weigh at 760gm, 564gm and 600gm respectively. And their length are 33cm, 32.5cm and 31.5cm.

Unfortunately, Alesya was too small. Most of her body system has not fully matured yet. Her lung especially and also her blood vessel. She had bleeding in her brain. The day she left us, there were also bleeding in her lung and stomach. Looking at her pale body I was really sad fearing that she was in pain. I knew I had to let her go. I guess her name reflects her destiny; Alesya which means protected by God. Allah decided to take her back to be with Him.At least I know she need not suffer to fight for her life. She’s daddy’s little girl. she has long limbs, legs and fingers, sharp nose and even the shape of her face. She had my eyes though.

Of course I couldn’t stop crying when I knew I’m gonna lost her. I was still at the hospital when they did her funeral. I stayed in the hospital so that I could be with my other 2 angels. That night syauQi and I went to see Harith and Athirah. It was a touching moment. When I touched Harith’s head, there were tears from his eyes. Then syauQi went over to Athirah and touched her head. The minute syauQi touched her, Athirah was also in tears. I guess they could feel the lost of their sister. Because of that, I make a promise to myself to be strong for them, to comfort and ensure them things will be alright, insya-Allah.

I asked my lecturer psychologically, could my children feel the lost of their sister? She replied : Although I can’t quote any academic evidence, I believe that your children have formed a bond while in the womb. Similar thing happened to a boy at Rumah Solehah when his twin brother passed. Your surviving children may not have cognitive recollection of their sister but may have memory of the senses. Wallahu’alam.

I was sad, I didn’t had the chance to be at Alesya’s funeral. But after being told other relatives and frens were there, I felt relief knowing lots of people send off Alesya Zara for me. I would like to thank everyone for their concern, love and support. May Allah bless all of you

Q6: How long did hArith and athirAh spend in the hospital?

hArith were in the hospital for 99 days while athirAh were in the hospital for 124 days. However she had to be readmitted to the hospital after 2 spending 2 nights at home due to hernia which needed operation. Besides that both of them went through eye laser for ROP

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