His, Mine and Ours ; Frustration – TRIPLETS plus ONE
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His, Mine and Ours ; Frustration

July 25, 2011

As most of you might already know..uzair is delay in his speech. he has yet started talking…among the very few words he says is “nak” and “bye”. Itu pun he only says nak bile dh dlm anger terjerit2. It gets really frustrating for him when he fail to deliver to us wants he wants. and on the other hand, we gets frustrated too. He makes lotsa of sound though…but not words. Some budak delay in speech tp senyap mcm malu, berat mulut. but uzair ni tejerit2 mengamuk sbb tak dpt ape die nak coz we tak paham ape die nak. he is constantly whining and throwing tantrum… there’s certain point i get soo frustrated coz i fail to attend to my child’s need. i have no idea, clueless to what he wants. I just feel like crying my lung out together with him. It is sad, i’m home 24/7 with him yet i fail to understand him. Imagine u have a son screaming all day long, and ppl ask me what he wants and all u can say is “i dont know”. It is sad to make such statement. A mother who has no answer to what his son wants. I get frustrated too. I guess to a certain point, we are on the same boat. Frustration. It is not easy to pretend you are okay when u see your child screaming away, and i don’t get time-out. I just have to deal with it. Yes, we realise maid make things worst, but can i cope without a maid, the laundry, the mess, the cleaning up. Bringing all with me where ever i go even if its just to the shop in front to get eggs since there won’t be anyone to look after them at home, can i handle that?

Anyway ,we started sending him for speech therapy. So far it doesnt help much in his speech but we see improvement in his social interaction. Dulu x hairan pun nak main with other siblings, at least now dh boleh gelak2 when he sees other 2 main. And bile jumpe org…ade lah percubaan nak pegi greet. tp since tak reti cakap…he greets with his body gesture. Alhamdulillah, we are happy to see such improvement.

I’ve made appointment for developmental paeds but guess when is our slot?

31st October 2011!!! Lame lagi tu. Hopefuly by then he has grown out of this phase. Ameen.

Last week, we decided to enroll him for TweedleWink; Right Brain Education.  Tadi was our first lesson. They limit to 5 kids in a room. Our group has 4 kids but 2 were absent, thus there were only 2 of us. Since it was uzair’s first lesson, obviously u cant expect him to voluntarily enter the classroom and follow the activities. The other gal dah lame join kot sbb she knows sequence of the lesson and all. However the mom doesnt look that happy with uzair’s presence, ye lah distracting the lesson kan, i dont blame her though. But how can u expect my son to stay focus for the whole 1 hour when it is his first time. Yes, i wish it is as easy as that. Her daughter on the other hand was giving uzair such a warm welcome tp sadly, uzair skit pun tak heran 🙁

Seeing the gal so confident and focus through out the 1 hours session, it reminds me of something. Back during courting years with syauQi, i remembered talking about my studies on early child education. He once asked me, what different does it make when one starts reading at age 3 while another starts reading at age 7? Kalau ikutkn die, same je…he started reading at age 7 tp alhamdulillah bejaya je jadi pilot..haha. I did ask my lecturer on this and she said there’s no studies that show the correlation on early reading and such BUT younger kids absorbs better thus their learning process is easier on them. contohnye budak 7 thn dah reti menegluh susah bagai…tp when u teach younger kids, alhamdulillah their absorption is better.

But now as a mother, i would like to make my very own opinion of early child education. Previously we sent elder to to Kidzports when there were baby coz we wanted them to have early exposure since they were premature. We wanted them to catch up with their age. But when i gave birth to uzair, we took a 2 months break since i was in confinement. After sambung balik I notice the different in the kids…the 2 months that we stop made them loose their focus and attention in the lesson. They were not as focus as before. It took only 2 months to “destroy” their attention span. And lepas tu mmg susah lah nk train balik their attention span. However when they were 22 months, we stop kidzports sbb started sending them to Montesorri.

So back to uzair and his classmate, im pretty sure when she first started her lesson die takde lah tantrum tak nk masuk class bagai sbb younger kids would feel secure sitting with the mother in the classroom and tak tepiki of the option boleh kuar class. While uZair ni dh besar dh ade kepala sendiri taknk masuk class bagai. Siap bukak pintu kuar. Tadi during the lesson, uZair kept going out and at one point i got all stressed up and frustrated, here i am bringing him to this lesson hoping it help his development but yet he refuses to enter the class.

Pastu bikin lagi panas, bile balik umah uzair trus ke dapur while i went to the washroom. Kuar2 tgk die tgh makan coco pops cereal, ratah mcm tu je. I’ve already make the rules clear that kids eat that with milk sbb if ratah mcm tu je mmg lah satu kotak boleh habis skali duduk. So right from the beginning elder 2 eat it with milk while uzair never wanted it. Tp td kuar washroom i saw uzair with a bowl of coco pops ratah mcm tu je. I pointed it out “kenapa makan tu takde susu?” so they maid dgr..boleh pulak die jwp “biar lah asalkn tak nangis (tantrum)” . So dlm kata lain, mmg maid make situation worst actually. They only think of temporary solution tp x piki of the permanent damage. Ye lah if diroang bijak tak lah diorang jadi maid kan… Same thing happen with the isu milo. we now have to hide our milo sbb if uzair nmpak nanti die nak ratah milo. so if bukan maid yg kasi / ajar die makan serbuk milo sape lagi kan. Pastu now if nmpak milo mengamuk nak ratah. And looks like lepas ni if nmpak coco pops pun ngamuk lah nak ratah. i specificaly mention to the maid “ha nanti jadi mcm milo, guling2 if tak dpt” tak tau lah if register tak dlm kepala die.

Tp kesimpulannye, i feel early childhood education is important, hopefully it will be less stressful for the parents. Maka biarlah takde budget tuk shopping, makan luar bagai, but en suami mari kita masuk kan dlm belanjawan tahunan for uwais’ early childhood education sebelum terlambat.

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  1. I agree with you that maid makes situation worst. My dotter who is the same age as Uzair sgt byk tantrum. I buat laa apa2 rules n regulations skali pon tapi si maid ni suka2 tanak ikut my rules. When I x kasi mkn ice, the maid plak pegi kasi sbb xnk budak tantrum.. Tension kann

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  2. munirahhh!! i ingat anak i je masalah cenggini.he is going to be 3 this november.dan ye its really frustrating bile kita x paham apa dia nak.dia macam dalam dunia dia sendiri.xde 2 way communication huaaa.kalau ikotkan org sekeliling diorg cakap biasalah boys.u hantar speech theraphy?helping tak?

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  3. Hi Munirah,
    My same who is 30months old pun masalah sama…yet to talk, panggil i mama pun kdg2 je terkeluar, it is sad and frustrating at the same time. Let me know if the speech theraphy helps, as I intend to take him soon too, but wonder if he will cooperate. I notice he’s only into certain things, buku langsung x minat, yours sama ke?

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  4. AS salam ladies…

    My 3 yr old son pun ada masalah yg sama..he still cant talk. Cuma lately he’s into books like Dibo, Handy Manny..i am concern cos my eldest and 2nd child started talking at a very young age..we never use baby talks with our kids..it has been in English and BM ( loghat utara heheh)

    Appreciate if anyone can share information regarding Tweedlewinks or any speech therapy etc that would help our kids..thanks

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    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    will make an entry on this insyaAllah

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    mOmmyofTRIPLETSplusONE Reply:

    will make an entry on it soon, insyaAllah.

    [Reply]

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